Like Mike, Barack Obama’s ‘Wife’ Unveils White House Portrait Of Self As ‘First Lady’ Entitled “Battle Of The Bulge”



Based on photo by unknown, from nunya @nunyabesniz (to @HuffPost and @HuffingtonPost; with comments of "Finding a suspicious package." and "I bet Melania can't do that!" and "Oh shit!" among others) found online via twitter.com then edited using funny.pho.to
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Some will surely accuse the shed of going for low hanging fruit here, but we prefer to look at this as a tentpole* article and are determined to pitch that tent! We take writing on any topic as a challenge, and this was a stiff one…a bit like wood. But when we are determined to tackle a topic, once we get started, like a ramrod we keep pushing and eventually get it up. It isn’t the longest article ever but we feel we rose to the occasion and are satisfied.

Based on photo by unknown found online via expatforum.com then edited using funny.pho.to (with apologies to Lionel Messi)

Basically ‘Michelle’ Obama returned to a special outdoor gallery at the White House (wow, that is SUCH a racist name…Obama**) to unveil a picture of a black “woman” but claimed not to know what one was and no other alt-far-leftist there was able to assist. “A girl like me” he* continued “was never supposed to be up there”. What, hung…up on the wall? He added that it was “not about blood”, a possible allusion to refusing a DNA test which some insist is nuts when they tell us to go pound rocks.

At some event, by Kisho Watanabe via medium.com

His husband Barack, who famously was the first ‘president of amerika’, was also in attendance. Many will remember that on at least two occasions (2011 and 2015) Barack is on video (such as “Barack Obama Calls His Wife Michelle Michael Twice” from yourtop.news below) referring to “Michael” by name. The two rent-a-kids aren’t fooling anyone sane either. There are also longstanding stories of Barack in Chicago’s gay ‘bath houses’ and the mother of one gay black man confirmed her son was killed because of witnessing those events and speaking about them. Barack is also reported to prefer older white men, which explains why Joe Biden (shudder) was put on the ticket in the first place.

JOKE BREAK! What do you call a gay guy’s member when it is inside another gay guy? An In-Sir-Ection. democRATs talk about those all of the time, “but don’t ask, don’t tell” …and don’t really want to know.

Based on photo (dancing with Ellen Degeneres) by unknown found online via facebook.com then edited using funny.pho.to

Gender dysphoria is a serious mental health issue, and the way to solve it is not to jump on the crazy train for a ride. DNA is ‘settled science’ (which we will keep pounding away on, like here and here and here and here, until the left have had enough and beg us to stop) but at some point mental health care providers appear to have given up and then the ‘trans’ movement was born. There are ways to spot a gender dysphoric person though (shoulders and hands being two of those ways, and a penis and testicles being three more).

Shoulder ratio by unknown, edit by CloneTHX2012 @Michael06874898 on twitter.com

Anyway, the painting really does look just like him, which is a drag. This article is dedicated to Joan Rivers, who died in an ‘accident’ September 4, 2014, almost 2 months to the day after her July 3, 2014, comments about the Obama’s. Also, don’t call us ‘Shirley’.

Based on photo (dancing with Ellen Degeneres) by unknown edit by CloneTHX2012 @Michael06874898 on twitter.com then our edit using funny.pho.to

*tentpole, noun. “a movie that is expected to be very successful and therefore able to fund a range of related products or movies.”

**it actually means “little beach” in Japanese, or “crooked, somewhat bent” in the far more accurate African-Swahili.

***for this article we have invented what we call ‘selective personal pronouns'(TM), which is where we decide what to call you because…fuck English, right!

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