This Time I Won’t Be Me, Person Who Plays Themselves in EVERY Movie They Are in Promises to Play Someone Else

For some reason modern day Hollywood (AKA Hollyweird AKA Groomers R Us AKA We hate babies!) has become incredibly formulaic, with reboots, remakes and reimaginings ruling the day. Some also say there are too many comic book based movies, even though the stories are unique yet interconnected (think Marvel through Avengers End Game, except for the woke Black Panther and the woker Captain Marvel, rather than DC which has issues).

The other problem today is that the same actors are hired for every movie and never seem to play a different character, by choice or due to lack of ability. On any random day you might have guessed we were going to talk about Zach Galifianakis*, Jack Black, Rebel Wilson, Melissa McCarthy or DeadPool (whose most famous role is pretending to be Ryan Reynolds) among a raft of others who get cast over and over and play the same character (them) in every movie they ‘act’ in, and who to a person as of today have all refused to make the same promise as above. But today we focus on someone different.

He has revealed that his new movie featuring Generic Character will be unlike anything audiences have ever seen him portray over his alleged acting career. The star said Generic Character’s dubious morality and grayer nature would hinder the audience’s perspective on if he was a villain or a hero and that element is what he will make the center of his representation. So while Generic Character is a total departure from other characters he has played audiences might still associate certain elements with him. And since he was a long time professional wrestler who often played a ‘tweener’ (not a ‘face’ or good guy you were supposed to cheer, or a ‘heel’ or bad guy you were supposed to boo) it does sound really different, especially if you aren’t paying attention.

Of his new role he said, “I think” Generic Character “is going to be a departure from what people have seen of me onscreen over the decades. I wanted to make sure that I brought” Generic Character “to life, knowing that it was a departure from what I had played before in the past, because there’s a lot of elements about” Generic Character “that are dependent on your perspective. Is he a supervillain? Is he an antihero? To some, he is just a straight-up superhero. There are just natural elements, I think, in me, that are part of my DNA that we see in the character of” Generic Character “. It is a departure from anything that I’ve played before in the past. A complete departure.” Wow, sounds enticing!

When not acting (as himself) he has entertained (LOL) thoughts of running for political office. Long thought of as a Republican (LOL) he switched to Independent during President Donald Trump’s time in the Oval Office (which proved he was a RINO at best), before endorsing Joe Biden and Kamala Harris on September 27, 2020. Despite him flushing his chance to run as a Republican forever alt-far-left urinalists are pushing an April, 2021, poll which found that 46 percent of Americans would support a White House bid by the alleged actor. Fat chance in hell bitches.

He has long wanted this role as Generic Character, having first expressed interest in 2006 before agreeing to play Generic Character in 2014, but work on it really started when a producer (Hiram Garcia) saw him as a good fit for the role in 2018. Now sometime in the future will see him finally bring Generic Character to the big screen thanks to director Jaume Collet-Serra. Good luck with that sir.

*AKA Zach Galifucknakis as he is known in the shed.