For those hoping we had run out of ways to insert Marx Brothers references into articles, you are out of luck. You should also know that they made THIRTEEN (13) movies. Okay, 12 and a half.
The last one, ‘Love Happy’ (1949), was originally supposed to be a solo project for Harpo, but the unscrupulous producer first tricked him into adding Chico for a few scenes, and then suspecting he wouldn’t say no if both older brothers were involved, he finally got his real prize…Groucho, and the use of the team name.
The movie bombed, but had a few good gags. The three are never in a scene together (hence the half), and during the rooftop chase at the end, Chico was actually doubled by Harpo in disguise, since Chico had already left for a tour of Europe with his band when re-shoots were needed.
The lead singer of the ‘Chico Marx Orchestra’ was a then 17-year-old Mel Tormé, who of course went on to great fame playing an exaggerated version of himself on the TV show ‘Night Court’ (1984–1992).
Get to the point already!
Okay. But check out this scene first, since it inspired this article.
It is from ‘Horse Feathers’ (1932, movie #4) and involves ‘Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff’ (Groucho), who has just been named the new president of Huxley College, trying to enter a speakeasy near the end of Prohibition, the door of which is guarded by ‘Baravelli’ (Chico), in order to recruit two football players for the big game.
He ends up getting two ice delivery men instead, the other of whom, ‘Pinky’ (Harpo), is also a part-time dog catcher.
While attempting to guess the password to enter (Wagstaff is given the hint that it is the name of a fish), his third and final attempt goes thusly…
“Wagstaff: I got it! Haddock!
Baravelli: Atsa funny, I gotta haddock too.
Wagstaff: What do you take for a haddock?
Baravelli: Well now, sometimes I take aspirin, sometimes I takea Calomel.
Wagstaff: Say, I’d walk a mile for a Calomel.
Baravelli: You mean chocolate Calomel. I like that too, but you no guess it.” — from marx-brothers.org.
The Marx Brothers (who loved to adlib), and their many talented writers, thrived on wordplay. We kind of have an affinity for it too.
This was also the last of two movies that Thelma Todd did with the Marx Brothers (following ‘Monkey Business’ in 1931). She also worked with Laurel and Hardy, and Buster Keaton, and starred in the original 1931 version of ‘The Maltese Falcon’ with Ricardo Cortez as Sam Spade.
Nicknamed ‘Hot Toddy’ (which we endorse) and ‘The Ice Cream Blonde’, Thelma was found dead at 29 in a parked car in a garage in 1935. She was briefly married to a man with mob connections, but the death was ruled “accidental with possible suicide tendencies” (despite no suicide note). She owned a restaurant and was still acting at the time too.
So, what is Calomel and why would you take it for a headache (or a haddock)?
What would later be known as Calomel was first discovered in Persia (where Iran is today) around 850 AD. It became known to Western medicine in 1608, and gained the name Calomel in 1655.
Soon it was being prescribed for virtually every ailment, including influenza, syphilis, cancer, gout, bronchitis, and even headaches.
Around 1840 a researcher named Benjamin Rush coined the term “heroic dose” and, with support from Dr. Samuel Cartwright, Calomel began being prescribed in larger doses than before.
Calomel even came in flavors, such as wintergreen. Surely something wintergreen flavored can’t be harmful to you!
At least some thought that was true until ‘wintergreen communism’ came along…
Eventually, though, it was realized Calomel was doing more harm than good for the various maladies it was being taken for.
The problem is that it is made with Mercury (MERCURY!!!). Yes, that stuff they put in thermometers, not the closest planet to the Sun in our solar system, nor the original and now deceased lead singer of the rock group ‘Queen’.
We now accept that ingestion of Mercury is bad. In fact, all mercury is toxic to humans. Exposure can harm your kidneys, liver, immune system and nervous system.
With pregnant women, it can not only harm them, but also the child they are carrying. Even children under 14 are more sensitive to exposure as their nervous systems and brains are still developing.
In fact, the only thing more harmful to kids under 14 is adults who insist DNA isn’t real and surgery can alter the sex you were born as.
Using Calomel led to the death of the brother of Joseph Smith (the Mormon founder). It was also used by Charles Darwin and likely led to his insanity, including the THEORY of evolution (pushed by leftists as the ‘proven fact’ of evolution, ignoring the Piltdown Man fraud earlier used as proof).
It seems nonsensical today that anyone would ever think that mercury was healthy for us to ingest. But at one point, ‘the science‘ told us that it was actually okay…and even that larger doses were healthier!
Just because something is old, that doesn’t mean that it is still not useful. Look at leeches. No, not democRATs and RINOs, the kind of leeches that look like worms, rather than looking like people and just acting like worms.
People scoff today, but leeches have been used in medical treatments for over 3000 years now. Today they are used after plastic surgery to promote quicker healing of the wound.
The 1800’s also had its own version of the Beatles, but for medicine. This Fab Four consists of Morphine (1827), Nitroglycerin (1867), Insulin (1869) and Aspirin (1899).
Morphine is used for pain, and is basically the original Oxycodone or Fentanyl. Nitroglycerin relaxes the veins and arteries leading to the heart, which relieves chest pain. Although Insulin wasn’t used to treat diabetes in humans until 1920, its discovery occurred 52 years earlier. And Aspirin can relieve pain, reduce inflammation, and also reduce the odds of developing blood clots.
When they claim that there is a medical consensus, there is NOT. When they claim that there is a scientific consensus, there is NOT. There was never a vote on either, and they only achieve those through censorship and intimidation tactics. What they are pushing is the particular agenda of so-called leaders of an ill-purposed group.
There is a LOT of money to be made from cutting off breasts and penises, as well as injections of God knows what, and from setting us on a course back to the 1800’s for travel and devices. The left already want poison in our bodies, so Mercury might just make a comeback yet. Reality is now a cult. Swordfish!
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